I masturbate because I’m the only one whose standards are low enough to fuck me!– Bo Burnham
From God’s Perspective - Bo Burnham
The books you think I wrote are way too thick.
Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn’t be a dick?
And I don’t watch you when you sleep.
Surprisingly, I don’t use my omnipotence to be a fucking creep.
nudity does not equate to pornography
nudity does not equate to sex
nudity is not consent
nudity doesn’t give you the right to talk about someones genitals and orifices as if they are public domain, and it certainly doesn’t give you the right to demean someone
nudity is only nudity
long distance relationships when they finally meet.
Via Deducing & Seducing Wibbly Wobbly Style!!
Joel: “And we’re all out of wrenches.”
Burnie: “And pools.”
Joel: “But thankfully we still have some confetti cannons.”
Burnie: “Yes… thankfully, we still have those.”
Via heart full of napalm
i will never be able to deal with this fucking company [x]
Via No disaster too small.